ISO a Life: Sexting

Hello. My name is Attani and I'm a text sex addict. There it's said, now let's get on with it.

Why is it so hard for people to get together? Ah,gee, let me think. Work, sitting in traffic, work, pretending to get exercise, sitting in traffic, work, working at home, getting take-out cause you're too tired to cook, sitting in traffic. And let's not forget, he lives way the hell over there and you live way the hell over here. By the time you do get together all you want to do is collapse.

Once upon a time there was this thing called "phone sex" and it was fun. Unfortunately, it could be overheard. There you are, sitting in traffic having some fun, when you look over at the car next to you. Ah, shit. Yeah, nice smile buddy.

And sometimes phone sex, like real sex, took some acting.

He calls after you've had the day from hell and expects you to have this on/off sex switch. So in the vain hope that a little naughty conversation will relax you, you play along. But you have to act. At least at the beginning. Ok, sometimes for the whole thing. But you don't want him to know because it will make him feel bad. So a little acting skill is required. Modulate the voice just so, make all the right sounds. Quickly come up with the appropriate thing to say when he decides to get creative. However, if you're not thoroughly into it, you can easily become distracted. This is not a good time to turn on your computer. It makes noise. I speak from experience. If the TV is on you can watch it on mute. But you don't want to get too much into that or you might start laughing at an inappropriate time.

Then along comes text. At first, I thought it was for teenagers. It seemed like a pain in the ass to me. Just talk to the person! Then I realized that without vocal inflections and extraneous noise, ie computer or TV, to give you away, you could have a "conversation" without the other person realizing that you were checking email, eating a sandwich or watching Dr. Who. So much easier. Yes, you have to peck out all the misspelled words but it's still very efficient. And there's no awkward silences. You have a few seconds to think when he gets those creative urges.

There are still some drawbacks. Getting text sex during a meeting is a bit distracting. And if you are in private and have your vibrator handy, well, you kind of need an extra hand or risk forgetting about your partner as you become immersed in your own pleasure. Although mine tends to be understanding when it comes to that.